ChardonayZyn Dried Chardonnay Grapes

This bullshit. This is some bullshit.

"Crunchy superfood snack"? You mean some fucking raisins with pits? Because that's what this is: The exact same flavor as plain old raisins, but with the additional annoyance of having to spit out the goddamn seeds.

Or, you know, crunch them with your teeth—an activity that is only satisfying if you eat glass in your leisure time. I seriously thought there were rocks inside these raisins when I first started, because they look like raisins and I don't expect raisins to have pits.

I don't know that I've had a snack make me so angry before.

Snacks shouldn't be work. I'm grinding my teeth to tear at grape flesh, pushing with my tongue to separate it from the pits.

Antioxidants? Grapes are grapes, asshole. There are no more antioxidants in these "wine grapes" than your regular box of raisins that you can buy for two dollars. You'd have to be a top-shelf moron to spend literally five times as much for a pound of raisins.

Deja poop score: 9 out of 10. Squishy rabbit turds with a special crunchy treat inside.

If you like snacks that make you angry, throw your money away at the RayZin website, where you can choose from three different varieties of overpriced rabbit-shit raisins.

I usually will struggle my way through even the shittiest snacks, but I threw this bag away after eating about a dozen raisins. I'm still angry at them.