Dirty Hippie Snacks

I think they gave this flavor such a tired name because they use espresso in the mix with whatever else they press together to form this vegan imitation-jerky. It's also clear by their other flavor names ("Nana Rama ," "Berry Good") that they have a preference for '80s synth pop  and lack creativity . They're not referencing NWA or Mahesh Babu. I'm glad they don't try to call this beef jerky, even though it seems it's trying to look like the stuff or act as a replacement. It is not, and it doesn't have the protein content to even begin pretending. It is, however, halfway decent fruit leather—albeit with a typical-hippie grainy texture. Maybe that's the espresso. It's not particularly chewy. Not a satisfying bite. The nuts embedded give no resistance. The bag tells me to take back the snack. I'm not sure these pressed-date triangles would be an effective fighter in the wars over food supremacy . They lack diversity ...

This looks like a bar of epoxy that you'd use to patch leaky pipes. The color is so uniform and the texture so smooth, it's a little unnerving. It bears the marks of the machine that spits it out, which I don't mind. Reminds you from where it came. Terrible bite. It feels like chewing on a bar of epoxy putty, and probably uses a similar process to make. There's soft resistance, then it pulls away and becomes mush, then grainy. It's better if you crumble bits off by hand. The flavor is ok, albeit fairly singular. Lemon and cashew is not a combination I would've expected, but it works. Nutty and lemony, but not salty or tart. Update: Trying this a second time almost a year later and it also tastes like epoxy. Would not eat again. Deja Poop Score: 7/10. Product info: https://risebar.com/shop/protein-bars/lemon-cashew-protein-bars/