Dirty Hippie Snacks

Update, 10/8/16: Following instructions is important. I came at this thinking I would get hot water and pour it into the container, which is why it turned out like a creamy slop. If you do it right—add cold water, stir, and microwave—it cooks and fluffs up like the power cake it claims to be. I would definitely eat this again. Rightfully delicious, fluffy, good. Original post follows.  

Look, I get that it's the cool thing to use "artisan" in your product literature these days, but this is a rectangle of nuts unceremoniously cut, like a bar of soap, from a much bigger rectangle of same. "Artisan crafted" in this case just means, at best, that "a human with a recipe poured ingredients into the form and later cut the thing into smaller pieces." You're not a blacksmith or a cooper or a tanner or a gunsmith or a stonemason. Drop the bullshit. Anyway, I like coconut, and this tastes like coconut. Unlike other mostly-nut bars, whatever sticky stuff they use to hold it all together is satisfyingly compliant. It's not an impenetrable brick. It's sweet, tasty, doesn't stick to your teeth, and doesn't have the grainy texture of many protein bars. I'm a big fan of our national parks, so I appreciate that they support the National Parks Foundation. The packaging is attractive. Each flavor features a picture and so

These sticks hardly look like poop at all. But they are deliciously beefy and salty, somewhere between eating an uncooked hot dog and a stick of cured sausage. That's meant to be a compliment. Sorry.