Dirty Hippie Snacks

One of my co-workers is Korean. To show gratitude for some projects I helped her with, she got me some Korean snacks. These are shrimp crackers, which are apparently a popular salty treat. I dug in. Upon opening the bag, a wave of fishy ocean scent hit my nose. I was afraid. I knew that smell. You might know it too. Its texture is remarkably similar to Cheetos, with a taste that's somehow reminiscent of plain Pringles (or, in marketing-speak, "Original Flavor"), even though they're wheat snacks, not potato. The ingredients list also features ground shrimp, which is news to me. I thought they lived in the water . But the actual flavor is really mild... right up until you burp. Then the fish-market smell burbles out of your gut like steam from a boiling chum bucket. Sorry, it's not really gross at all. I just couldn't resist the visual. At most it's a bit unusual, but if you're a fan of seafood it's probably an irrisistible snack. D

I don't know what the hell silken tofu is. I know it makes for a tart chocolate pudding when blended with chocolate chips and agave. It also looks like a pile of dogshit diarrhea. I've picked up piles of this out of my neighbors lawns. Or, more accurately, I've used a Dollar Tree plastic bag as a glove and failed to lift most of this retched-smelling brown liquid up from between blades of too-long Saint Augustine grass. My wife made this. It is delicious. She actually used espresso chocolate chips, so I'm probably a little wired right now. And you know what caffeine does to your bowels. She also tells me that mousse and pudding are different. Whatever. You can search the Internet for a recipe or you can improvise your own mix. Deja Poop Score: 10 out of 10. I'm back, shit lovers.