Dirty Hippie Snacks

Look, I get that it's the cool thing to use "artisan" in your product literature these days, but this is a rectangle of nuts unceremoniously cut, like a bar of soap, from a much bigger rectangle of same. "Artisan crafted" in this case just means, at best, that "a human with a recipe poured ingredients into the form and later cut the thing into smaller pieces." You're not a blacksmith or a cooper or a tanner or a gunsmith or a stonemason. Drop the bullshit. Anyway, I like coconut, and this tastes like coconut. Unlike other mostly-nut bars, whatever sticky stuff they use to hold it all together is satisfyingly compliant. It's not an impenetrable brick. It's sweet, tasty, doesn't stick to your teeth, and doesn't have the grainy texture of many protein bars. I'm a big fan of our national parks, so I appreciate that they support the National Parks Foundation. The packaging is attractive. Each flavor features a picture and so...

Turn up the spice! The Hot Pepper flavor (with cranberries, wild rice and peppers, says the package) is actually plenty hot. The rice grains are maybe partially cooked, because they're slightly crunchy, chewable. It's unusual. Unlike Tanka's bigger, tastier meat bar  (that's not an euphemism), I couldn't actually identify the cranberry in this. Whatever they use as a skin on this thing is a bit more paper-like than any other I've had. It's got more snap to it than even Macho Man could muster, but brother , I'm yearning for more flavor than just this flat spiciness. It's compressed sawdust with pepper. Maybe I'm expecting too much of a meat stick. Deja Poop Score: 1/10, standard for meat sticks . Dig into this crap at: http://www.dirtyhippiesnacks.com/2016/04/tanka-warrior-buffalo-meat-bar.html

These come in several flavors and meat varieties, so I'll break it down: Honey mustard turkey Tastes like old turkey asshole so much that I can't tell if there's any honey or mustard involved. I tried two of these and they both sucked, so it's probably not an issue of batch. They weren't expired either. It's just naturally gross. Chipotle beef & pork  If you eat chili dogs for the high quality chili they scoop out of the can, this is your jam. I enjoyed it, but I also like dirty chili dogs. Thumbs up on the spicy aftertaste, which elevates this slightly above cheap chili dog flavor. Cracked pepper beef & pork Beefy, porky, delicious. Yes yes yes. Would eat again, all day long. Ancho pepper turkey Not bad. Tastes like a meat stick. Would eat again. The problem with turkey may be limited to the honey mustard flavor. BBQ beef The only stick that's just beef, and it is clearly superior to all the others. Beefy. Mild BBQ flavor, on t...

This "exotic healthy snack" tastes of soy sauce combined with rancid mustard. Can mustard go rancid? That's what I imagine Rancid Mustard Chex Mix would taste like. Alarming at first, and second, and never stops. Product info: http://www.zouq.com/product/curry-crunch-can/