Dirty Hippie Snacks

My wife suggested heating this thing in the microwave for 20-25 seconds. I did. Once warm, it fell apart the moment I touched it. Naturally, this made it difficult to eat. Any time I tried to pick up a piece that appeared to be a unified hunk of brownie, I was grossly disappointed as it crumbled apart between my fingers. It held together a little better after it cooled, but the damage was done. It was moist in a disconcerting way. This brownie is very rich, and the marbled caramel section is tasty. Shame that it has that grainy texture typical of gluten-free cakes. Gluten holds shit together. Keep your gluten, people. If you're gonna sacrifice your desserts to the health food gods, go all the way. Eat some fucking kale. It's a goddamned dessert. It's not supposed to be good for you, and this thing, even without gluten, is no exception. Deja Poop Score 9/10. It's called a "brownie" for a reason. Hopefully yours aren't rectangular. What can br...

These gummies aren't a typical Dirty Hippie Snack because they make no claims about being healthy or any such thing. It's just a stoner snack. It contains red 40, corn syrup, and pretty much everything else typical Dirty Hippies hate. My wife's store won't carry marijuana-related edibles to begin with (these are indeed legal), but even if they did, the total lack of health-anything in it means you'll never see it in her store. But not all stoners are hippies, and stoners will consume anything that even looks like a pot leaf.  I looked up CBD (which this thing is "100% infused" with, though it's not clear what the 100% refers to). That's cannabidiol, which Wikipedia says no psychoactive effects. Seeing that, I figured when the package said it "may cause drowsiness" and "do not exceed 1-2 per hour," (apparently they don't know what "do not exceed" means) it was just hype and bullshit meant to sell expensive ca...

Bacon jerky. I know, right? How did this not enter my face before? Before the hipsters got a hold of it and fused it with hipster ketchup , anyway. This bacon jerky isn't tough and chewy like you expect from a beef jerky, or crispy like you might expect from bacon. It's soft, kinda like really wide noodles, but with more chew than pasta al dente. The flavor coating is candy-like in its crystalline sweetness, but the sriracha spice kicks you quickly afterward. The pieces clump together into one big piece. It's not hard to separate, but again, it's not like beef jerky. It's good. It's tasty. But I think I'd prefer a flavor that lets the pork stand out on its own. The sriracha spice is strong. Deja Poop Score: 6/10. The pig of fire actually smells exactly the same coming out. Stink up the office toilet at: https://chefscutrealjerky.com/product/real-bacon-jerky-sriracha