Wild Garden Roasted Garlic Hummus To Go

This week's update is a day late and a dollar sho—actually, I get paid the same zero dollars for updating this site, so while pay rate and value equations (dollars per post) both calculate undefined, we can take the limit as "dollars" approaches zero to determine that yes, indeed, my time and yours are both worthless.
I hope you enjoyed today's Math Distraction (tm). Let's talk about poop packaged in one of those MC Escher travel-friendly triangle packs.

This is hummus. Hummus is delicious. Garlic hummus especially so. But while hummus in a flat, circular container is not completely turdlike, something happens when you clip the corner off a four-sided triangular package and squeeze it out.

It turns into a shit string. It's one of the first dumps you'll take right after a righteous bout of food poisoning. You know, your colon's all super cleaned out, so any solids coming out of there are fresh and untainted by the years of shitty buildup in there. Recently processed, light on color and density. It's almost like baby shit.

Is that what it feels like to poop after having a colonic?

Deja Poop Score: 9/10. Yesterday's mid-morning snack was deliciously shitty.

Squeeze out your own stringy stool at:


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