Vega Sport Endurance Gel: Orange Zest flavor

I've started riding mountain bike trails a lot lately. I live in Florida, so please interpret "mountain" loosely. There aren't huge climbs or fast downhills, but there are plenty of difficult, technical trails around here to challenge your skills.

Anyway. A fellow rider offered me an energy gel product recently, so I thought I'd see what my wife could get me in a dirty hippie variety. Not because I particularly care about being a dirty hippie, but because I'm curious and she gets a mega discount for being The Boss Lady.

This Vega Sport Endurance Gel has been in our pantry for a long time. Months? Not sure. It has no dates printed on the thing. Judging by the graphics, it must have existed as a product no earlier than 2008.

So. I have the Orange Zest flavor, and surprisingly enough, it's not a generic citrus flavor or frozen concentrate orange juice taste. It actually tastes like actual orange zest, which is kind of cool (in an earthy sort of way). There is a sandy/grainy protein bar texture going on. Like ground-up seeds. It sticks around in your mouth for a bit.

The flavor is tolerable, but not particularly good. Let it hang out in your backpack or bike bag during your workout on a hot day, and suddenly you're squirting a thick, poopy liquid into your mouth. I haven't tried the raspberry flavor, but I'm trying not to let my imagination take hold.

Do you know what happens when you eat beets?


It might taste better if it were chilled. But if you don't put ice packs in your backpack (or fanny pack or whatever it is you silly runners wear), it's always going to be kind of warm. You might fare better in that regard if you exercise in the winter. 

I will say, however, that its alleged energy rejuvenation properties are not just marketing fluff. I sucked down a tube of this turd juice and, about halfway around my next loop of the trail (15 minutes), I regained speed, ambition, grunt. It works. It's just an unpleasant way to swallow a boost.

Deja Poop Score: 9/10. It's orange if you look at it in the right light, otherwise it would've receive a full diarrhea-frappe 10 points. Even if you desperately need the calories, this is not an easy thing to squeeze into your mouth.

(Update: My wife racked her brain and decided she got this tube in December 2013, which means it's hella expired. The color and flavor may not be what you actually get. If/when I try a fresh example, I'll update this post.)

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